I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
