Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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