Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize