Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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