I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
