and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
