is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
