no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
3pm strippers are depressing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize