my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize