Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
