she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
