**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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