yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
