Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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