this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
