I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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