i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
