Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
