She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
