In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
