Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize