He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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