And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
