haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
