belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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