Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
