i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
