The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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