Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
