He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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