Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
