you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
