guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
