My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There are leaves in my underwear?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
