Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
time to smoke my breakfast
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
