I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize