is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
