I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
