we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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