we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
