Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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