Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
