Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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