so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
