Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
