you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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