I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
