apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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