I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
