it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
