May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize