Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
