You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
